The Day I’ll Finally Stop Grieving

From the article:
“Grief doesn’t just visit you for a horrible, yet temporary holiday. It moves in, puts down roots—and it never leaves. Yes as time passes, eventually the tidal waves subside for longer periods, but they inevitably come crashing in again without notice, when you are least prepared. With no warning they devastate the landscape of your heart all over again, leaving you bruised and breathless and needing to rebuild once more.”

john pavlovitz


“How long has it been? When is he going to get over that grief and move on already?”

I get it.

I know you might be thinking that about me or about someone else these days.

I know you may look at someone you know in mourning and wonder when they’ll snap out of it.

I understand because I use to think that way too.

Okay, maybe at the time I was self-aware enough or guilty enough not to think it quite that explicitly, even in my own head. It might have come in the form of a growing impatience toward someone in mourning or a gradual dismissing of their sadness over time or maybe in my intentionally avoiding them as the days passed. It was subtle to be sure, but I can distinctly remember reaching the place where my compassion for grieving friends had reached its capacity—and it was long before they stopped hurting.

Back then like most people, my mind was operating under…

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  1. So, I’m sitting here in my living room crying hysterically right now. I feel like that article was written for me, about me. It spoke my truth. I’ve been saying that I’m not the same person I was before I lost my best friend and I know I never will be. But my ability to feel compassion for others has absolutely increased.

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    • I know, Meredith. I thought of you as I read the words. I am so, so sorry for your loss. It leaves such an awful hole in your heart and soul. But I believe he must have been an awesome and wonderful friend as were you for him. I wish I could make it better. I can’t. But I do understand.


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